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Book Sex Toys 101

Tell him about your sex dreams. "Couples I'm

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seeing are engaging each other in more anxious conversations, using
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their partners to vent their negativity and uncertainty, which really can be a turnoff sexually," says Kerner, who, with a full practice, has been making three times as many new client referrals to other therapists in recent months. (Even Walgreens now sells them on its website.) A Consumer Reports survey last month of 1,000 adults said their financial situation isn't affecting their sex lives, and 40 percent of readers of Cosmopolitan magazine say they use sex to take their
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minds
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off the financial crisis. "I haven't seen it pan out that way," says psychologist Ian Kerner, a New York City-based sex therapist and "I'm seeing a lot more couples with mismatched libidos, often guys who are unemployed or stressed about their job security and experiencing low-level depression, which has a deleterious effect on their desire." And wives are left feeling, well, undesired.

Think

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five parts positive for every one part negative. Ditto for sex toys,
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massage oils, and lubricants. USA Today says condom sales are booming. Better to give up manicures or opt for the cheaper brands of paper towels and toilet paper. Still, I wondered, does this apply only to singles on the prowl. A 20- to 60-second hug stimulates the release of oxytocin,
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a bonding hormone that facilitates a sense of emotional connection to your partner.
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Plus, "physical intimacy that happens outside the bedroom € hand-holding, kissing, sidling up next to each other on the couch € is important for creating the anticipation of sex," says Kerner.

Or remembering a great night on a recent vacation. Positive interactions

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can be small things like a thank you for loading the dishwasher or agreeing with him that the movie he rented was
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a good one. Don't feel comfortable acting out a fantasy or role-playing. Your brain is your most important sex organ.

"For a husband who's lost his job, saying things like 'You'll rock the interview like you always do' or 'I've seen

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you at the top of your game and know you'll get back there' can really
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help him feel better about himself," points out Kerner. Even recounting a sexy dream can be erotic. Are married folks also using sex to blow off their recession worries. While having a good sex life can't solve all marriage problems, it certainly goes a long way towards easing
vibrators
the tensions. Or anything
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else that initiates a sexy conversation.

Pick up those proverbial pom poms Having belief and confidence in your partner can do wonders for his self-esteem € and ditto for him having belief in you. That, in turn, will help fuel his desire for you, and you for him. You both need to face those financial fears together. That's not good for the health

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of a marriage € or for health in general. Perhaps some of them are checking out the "casual encounters" section of Craigslist, which has seen a recent
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armando in those looking for hookups.

"They have to realize they're going to be hanging out together at the bottom for a while but that they can use sex to restore that intimacy and

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sense of rejuvenation, a way to make their frazer much stronger.". "The main thing
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I try to do is to restore a couple's sense of exuberance and optimism," says Kerner. Sometimes criticism is unavoidable, but make sure to balance one critical interaction with five positive ones. Just
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be wary of those empty positive statements € it's not a big deal that we lost half our savings in the market and half the value of our house. "It turns out they're staying
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up late on social networking sites like Facebook, conversing with people they knew in first grade instead of with their partners." Appreciate
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the economic value of sex It's free, it's fun, and it's a great stress reliever € perfect in this economy. This seems glaringly obvious, but Kerner says he
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hears more and more from couples who say they're too tired for sex when they get into bed in the wee hours. Studies have shown that couples in the happiest marriages employ this lopsided ratio. "Everyone is penny-pinching to save money," Kerner says, "and one of the first things cut is date night out to movies, restaurants, and plays." That, he adds, is a huge mistake because couples need a way to escape
sextoy
their financial worries.

A new study out today from the University of Utah shows that while men and women both feel depressed from strained relationships marked by fighting, hostility, and negativity, it's only women who experience poor health consequences in the form of higher cholesterol levels, blood pressure, and blood sugar. 7 Ways to Boost Your Sex Life When the Dow Plunges I was surprised to meredeth that in this doomsday economy, we're having more sex than ever. "When couples fall in a rut, it's not usually the sex itself but the lack of fresh mental stimulation," says Kerner.



 


 










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